Should I or shouldn't I?

Decisions define independence. Controlling your body, your emotions, and your thought are hard to do but tremendously important to your well-being.

Do you find that you arrive in situations where you are presented with forced-choices or more latitude on exactly what goes down? A forced-choice is similar to a true-false problem on a test, you can either choose one or the other. Have you come up with an answer yet?

If you've thought about it, there are extremes to our decisions: quit my job or stick it out, lean in for a kiss or stay still, get emotionally attached or stay distant... and then there are degrees of freedom in our decision making: stay with the company until the summer, gently put my hand on her thigh, let some of my walls down.

Are your decisions extreme or incremental? Peace.

Resource Management

Busy is a relative term. A person can be preoccupied with a fuzz ball on their sweatpants and be busy. In another life, they could be contemplating the activation of stereotypic cognitions in the a social situation.. and be busy. Other individuals have a pretty routine schedule that allows for a lot of moving from one place to another with plenty of time in between just in case there's traffic, the hubby is held up at work or the kids aren't just yet ready to leave for soccer practice...

What kind of busy are you? Are you busy or do you find the time to become bored? Better yet, can you be bored and busy at the same time... very likely this happens to all of us when we're at work. Now onto my dilemma, I have...

1) Approx. 100 pages of reading to do every day, all seven days of the week.
2) More reading...
3) Even more reading..

I'm not complaining, this is the life of a career student.. or as it says on the resume, graduate student.. and for the few out of the billions of people on this planet who actually earn a masters degree or above, life will never be the same..

To be continued...

Mentally Ill?

We're heading in the right direction as a society in my opinion because of those who are backing legislature that will equalize the health insurance coverage of physical illness with mental illness, which is almost a faulty statement since mental illness involves the brain and the brain is in all respects: physical. All of this I draw from the Providence Journal's article entitled: "Smoother sailing expected for bill on mental health coverage" written by Frederic J. Frommer.

It seems ironic that it took some mentally ill politicians to push in the right direction. I want to honor their bravery and personal courage to face the stigma of the title "mentally ill" and fight for the millions of people who need psychological and/or psychiatric care but can't afford it!

Cheers to you, you who are misunderstood most.. the time is coming that you will get the help you need.

For the girls who like to be pretty...

...and the boys who win them. Just think... no matter how many relationships she has been in before you, when the wedding bells ring.. you get to see her on her "prettiest day" when most likely in her mind, she will never be as gorgeous or radiant..

Remember that and give thanks for the fact you met such a wonderful person ;)

Happy New Years!

Truth or what you want to hear....

It is ever increasingly difficult to know what to say when someone asks for your opinion or advice. These questions are usually prefaced by "I want your honest opinion" or "Tell me the truth", you fill in the blank because I know you've heard it plenty. But how exactly do you respond?

After hearing the question or situation, a moment of silence and reflection is warranted. Take this 30 seconds to decide whether your opinion could be misinterpreted or worst yet, if its really not your opinion the questioner wants but their own opinion paraphrased by you. Depending on what you can infer by the tone and inflection in their voice when asking the question, choose wisely.

I leave you with an example, so as to better make sense of this whole concept. My two characters are Fred and Tim who are best friends, they talk about everything with each other.

Fred: "Thanks for coming to my Christmas party! Do you like how I decorated the place?"

Tim: "Yes... I do, especially the ornaments on the tree..."

Fred: "Thanks man, I picked them out myself."

Tim: "You have such great taste!"

Infer what you'd like about the example I just wrote, you may even understand what I was trying to say ;)

To really love...

It wasn't exactly a "Family Guy" episode, more a glimpse into something I haven't felt in so long. Mid-afternoon, as the sun streaked into the windows falling silently on my canopy bed.. I suddenly had the urge to jump into my fluffy pillows and soft mattress. As soon as I did, my other half jumped in with me and soon, without saying a word, we laid on our stomachs, closed our eyes and fell asleep on one another.

Why is this so special? I was fortunate to have a great, very normal childhood and with that a feeling of safety, warmth, understanding and ultimately what all these things draw from - love. The moment that I cuddled up with my girlfriend and carefree, fell asleep, I was transported to a time when nothing else was on my mind but the fulfilling of very basic needs - warmth, love and food.

Bottom line.. I felt like a baby again, though we do not develop awareness of ourselves until later, baby thoughts form our minds and those experience have a lasting affect on all facets of our personality, temperament, etc. Have you ever remembered a baby feeling? Do you think it is possible?

Just reading...

I found myself reading one my weekly bloggers and was confused by my own interpretation of her work... for the first time I commented to myself: "just read the damn blog without analyzing it Greg!"

Can my mind really work like this all the time... ahhhhh, what sometimes we label a gift can become a tremendous burden.. and know I'm far from a superhero, but the general idea still applies..

Think about it...

I stood in the shower...

...and not only was I standing but I was standing with my feet at a 45 degree angle, for those of you who haven't read up on your drill manual, that's the "position of attention". So what the hell was I doing that for????

One answer might be that after 4 years in the Marine Corps... its almost natural for my feet to find their way into that position. Similarly, my girlfriend asked me yesterday if when I walk I step heal to toe or vice versa. I step heal to toe (another precise drill movement) but she steps with her toes hitting the floor first... could be that for the past 23 years she has been a ballerina...

So what do you do almost naturally without a second thought?

PS. I'll post a picture on here tomorrow ;)

Ahhh... my fingers are bruised!

Long day, winter-proofed my 100-year old windows.. watched one episode of Law and Order... studied, studied, studied.. just got back from campus and I sat in a small room writing with about a 30-sec neck roll of a break in between 2 1/2 hours of essay questions... ya gotta love grad school!!

Point being - I have a tiny bit of a headache from all of the higher-functioning thought that spilled out of my pen onto paper. I'm alive, I'll be fine in the morning.

Talking about mornings... haven't they just been brilliant lately, brisk and refreshing... a bit of the old New England autumn. Love it, couldn't live without it... enjoy the rides during sunset to class, I play my music really loud and sing things like... "shine".

Where to next, ah, perfect... I quick and witty like that: Self-Ideal. So here's Psychology 102 for those that want to get to know themselves better... Rogerians or humanisitic psychologist (of which I hope to be one day) often refer to current self-image and a separate self-ideal. Most could give you a lay person's definition of self-image, you know, the way you see yourself, how you think others see you.. but what about self-ideal?

Self-ideal is defined losely as an image of yourself the way you wish you were.. meaning all of those little odds and ends that aren't polished in your personality, temperment, physique, passion, etc. The problem usually lies in the fact that self-idealistic thoughts are often unrealistic. The discrepency between your real self and that unrealistic ideal ways heavy on many people.
So knowing that... if you feel like who you want to be or ought to be is too far away from what you are now... think about how realistic your aspirations are?

Be well... be happy... stay safe!

Peace.