To be a Man
At brunch today, by the fireplace in a warm apartment in Washington, DC.. the question of manhood came up. There were 6 of us at the table, eating pumpkin pancakes and drinking champagne... 3 girls, 3 boys.. and a great question!
So when did you know that you were - a MAN? Amongst the three gentlemen there today, there were two academic types (an intelligence analyst of sorts and I'm not really certain what the other guy did) and then there was me - a former Marine, now grad student. So one gentleman says to me, "I would have liked to gone to war, to do something extreme, to save lives, to kill bad guys, that sort of thing... but, I didn't." Clearly, being a soldier of some sort defined manliness to him.
Seeing that neither one of the two had done any military service, I smiled and said, "ya don't have to be in the military to be a man.. it's more than that." It is more than that, isn't it? There are many males who enter the military and when they get out, even after going through many things, are still boys...... for me, a man is all of the things an ideal Marine is, for instance, but more than that.. it is a very personal, intimate condition for every person. That rite of passage comes to us all through some sort of challenge, or multiple challenges that define who we are and what we stand for.
To be a REAL man today is to be in touch with who you are, what you believe in and willing to commit to those beliefs and defend them. A bonus would be to posses the following: loyalty, integrity, honor, courage, discipline, strength of will and body, and last but not least - maturity! So I wonder how many "men" live up to these standards?
4 Comments:
I'm not sure any of you ever become MEN! As a shirt I saw at church last week said, "Grandpas are antique little boys." Haha!
Sarah- Be nice! :) Can you at least say that you've met one testosterone-plenty human being who you consider a Man?
If you do.. please share, I'm curious?
Well, Greg. I've encountered a lot of testosterone (probably too much)... lol.
Most of the guys I'd consider testosterone-plenty still have a side that's wild and wishing-I-was-still-in-high-school crazy! Though now that I think about it more, there are some awesome MEN in my life. Most of them, I know through either the church or work. Why I consider them "men," would first be that they're faithful fathers, constantly praying for their kids, and the influences those children encounter in their lives; and faithful husbands; and with that, comes faithful friends, though a lot of the older "boys" have that last one, too.
So I suppose what makes the "man" would be the ability to selflessly care for and nuture other people. Whether as a husband or father, where the recipients of this care are your family. Or as a soldier, where your care affects every member of an entire country.
Sarah- Sorry its taken me so long to comment back, but...
I love that you used the word "nurture" to describe manliness... its almost a contradiction in terms, well, in the normal perception of a man. I like it though and I think for all of us (men and women) to become fully actualized, we need to embrace all avenues of positive expression, behavior, and roles. :)
Happy New Year..
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